Jopkabdab is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, charitable jaguar.

Jopkabdab created humanity eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jopkabdab, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Jopkabdab, she will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Jopkabdab's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jopkabdab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not fashion models of living things.

2. Never think about black holes.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not wear pink clothing.

5. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Jopkabdab on top of all buildings.