Vagkiptab is a god.

She takes the form of an one thousand metre long, happy wyrm.

Vagkiptab created a top quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vagkiptab, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Vagkiptab, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Vagkiptab's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Vagkiptab's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never wear coats.

3. Do not commit murder.

4. Hide if nine dolphins approach from the north.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.