Quammutbud is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, all-powerful pigeon.

Quammutbud created light eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quammutbud, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quammutbud, she will turn you into a goat.

Quammutbud's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Quammutbud's Holy Commandments

1. Always remove dresses before entering holy places.

2. Never speak of balance in the presence of elders.

3. Never speak aloud of signs.

4. Always help turtles.

5. Never point your face toward the north during prayer.