Hadkanomthun is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, overgenerous mongoose.

Hadkanomthun created Africa four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hadkanomthun, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Hadkanomthun, he will turn you into a mouse.

Hadkanomthun's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Hadkanomthun's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about solid mechanics near rats while wearing red shoes and balancing six titanium spheres on your legs.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Erect eight tin sculptures of Hadkanomthun on top of important buildings.

4. Do not eat figs.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.