Tonkhotkam is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, egotistical coyote.

Tonkhotkam created Asia four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tonkhotkam, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Tonkhotkam, it will not care at all.

Tonkhotkam's most sacred site is Acanceh in Mexico.

Tonkhotkam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop in public.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never talk about optics.

5. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.