Kamyikfig is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, selfish fish.

Kamyikfig created a bottom quark six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Kamyikfig, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Kamyikfig, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Kamyikfig's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Kamyikfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never gather eight porpoises in one place.

2. You must pray to Kamyikfig six times a day.

3. Never carve symbols of dwarf planets into wood.

4. Never touch water while tainted.

5. Never cross crossroads at midnight.