Flapmilwee is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, caring toad.

Flapmilwee created the cosmos six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapmilwee, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flapmilwee, he will think nothing of it.

Flapmilwee's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Flapmilwee's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump near horses.

2. Always cleanse your hands after touching gold.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never travel toward the west during autumn.

5. Never mark doors with green.