Omtdaphom is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, proud octopus.

Omtdaphom created a quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtdaphom, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Omtdaphom, it will not care at all.

Omtdaphom's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Omtdaphom's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

2. Never think about quantum mechanics near shrews while wearing turquoise coats and balancing nine aluminium spheres on your arms.

3. Do not take Omtdaphom's name in vain.

4. You must pray to Omtdaphom six times a day.

5. Always help sick swans.