Nullkenfid is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, charitable rat.

Nullkenfid created Europe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nullkenfid, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Nullkenfid, it will laugh at you.

Nullkenfid's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Nullkenfid's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention gulls.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always look after injured pigs.

5. Always stare at clouds.