Labbuslan is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, selfish dingo.

Labbuslan created the world nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Labbuslan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Labbuslan, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Labbuslan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Labbuslan's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention sharks.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Labbuslan.

3. Feed all hungry mice.

4. Never think about optics near whales while wearing yellow scarves and balancing seven iron spheres on your feet.

5. Do not wear orange clothing.