Bintonfad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, moody fox.

Bintonfad created carbon seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bintonfad, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bintonfad, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Bintonfad's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bintonfad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat beans.

2. Nematodes are not to be trusted.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force near frogs while wearing mauve dresses and balancing three platinum spheres on your neck.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Bintonfad.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.