Cemtim Artrakwat is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, tranquil pig.

Cemtim Artrakwat created carbon three million years ago.

If you believe in Cemtim Artrakwat, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemtim Artrakwat, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Cemtim Artrakwat's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Cemtim Artrakwat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not hurt frogs.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Never think about black holes.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.