Govbontof is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, ruthless goblin.

Govbontof created light three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Govbontof, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Govbontof, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Govbontof's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Govbontof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about quantum mechanics near manatees while wearing green boots and balancing three lead spheres on your arms.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Erect a large carbon sculpture of Govbontof on top of all buildings.

4. Erect a giant red sculpture of Govbontof in the centre of the settlement.

5. You must love Govbontof.