Yarpbastpig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, flying wren.

Yarpbastpig created the Sun eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yarpbastpig, it will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Yarpbastpig, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Yarpbastpig's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Yarpbastpig's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Yarpbastpig.

2. Never talk about deoxyribonucleic acid.

3. Do not wear cyan clothing.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Do not eat tomatoes.