Jontafcet is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, unthoughtful jaguar.

Jontafcet created Europe eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jontafcet, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jontafcet, she will make you grow a tail.

Jontafcet's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Jontafcet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if eight dogs approach from the north.

2. Never talk about eukaryotes.

3. Erect seven silver sculptures of Jontafcet on top of important buildings.

4. Never write about stars.

5. Never write about thermodynamics.