Pitwaptom is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, unfair crab.

Pitwaptom created bats three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pitwaptom, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pitwaptom, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Pitwaptom's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Pitwaptom's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity near eagles while wearing purple hats.

2. Never go into fawn rooms.

3. Paint representations of stars on the walls of your dwelling place.

4. Learn nine new languages a year.

5. Do not fashion models of living things.