Tuntunwad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, dishonest wren.

Tuntunwad created snails four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tuntunwad, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Tuntunwad, she will turn you into a snail.

Tuntunwad's most sacred site is Valdena in Italy.

Tuntunwad's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of rice to sharks while wearing brown kilts.

2. Always make sure there are no whales in a building before entering it.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink water in red rooms.

5. You must pray to Tuntunwad three times a day.