Lamtoftikfebrilbamfatquart is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, awe-inspiring manatee.

Lamtoftikfebrilbamfatquart created Mount Everest seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamtoftikfebrilbamfatquart, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Lamtoftikfebrilbamfatquart, he will cry a lot.

Lamtoftikfebrilbamfatquart's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Lamtoftikfebrilbamfatquart's Holy Commandments

1. Never prepare bread during autumn.

2. Do not resist fate.

3. Do not speak about gooseberries.

4. Put Lamtoftikfebrilbamfatquart first in all things.

5. Do not fashion sacred items from bone.