Zodmadtik is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, fast cat.

Zodmadtik created water six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zodmadtik, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zodmadtik, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Zodmadtik's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Zodmadtik's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about galaxies.

2. Always wear fawn.

3. Never think about electromagnetism near moths while wearing magenta hats and balancing four titanium spheres on your back.

4. Never feed cherries to sharks while wearing shorts.

5. Never feed lots of pineapples to dolphins while wearing mauve ear rings.