Bamcisstarp is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, ruthless yak.

Bamcisstarp created the planet Earth seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamcisstarp, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Bamcisstarp, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Bamcisstarp's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Bamcisstarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not prepare gooseberries while wearing skirts.

2. Always wear red.

3. Heed all portents.

4. Never eat carrots on holy days.

5. Never paint your legs brown.