Venfossdap Loopgenapp is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, happy mole.

Venfossdap Loopgenapp created a top quark four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venfossdap Loopgenapp, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Venfossdap Loopgenapp, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Venfossdap Loopgenapp's most sacred site is Randers in Denmark.

Venfossdap Loopgenapp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hop at forests.

2. Do not dye your hair red.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not study cell theory on holy days.

5. Pray only in shadows.