Japcendobvedbogstikont is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, ill-tempered raccoon.

Japcendobvedbogstikont created snails three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Japcendobvedbogstikont, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Japcendobvedbogstikont, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Japcendobvedbogstikont's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Japcendobvedbogstikont's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from red squirrels for they are unholy.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never write about comets.

5. Respect your elders.