Hottifruttjip is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, boastful hamster.

Hottifruttjip created vertebrates nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hottifruttjip, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hottifruttjip, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Hottifruttjip's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Hottifruttjip's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear skirts.

2. Never talk about dark matter.

3. Hottifruttjip must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Never remain standing at midday.

5. Hottifruttjip loves tortoises, so they must be respected.