Yarpfemjig is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, unselfish manatee.

Yarpfemjig created the Small Magellanic Cloud two million years ago.

If you believe in Yarpfemjig, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Yarpfemjig, it will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Yarpfemjig's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Yarpfemjig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

2. Never chant near turtles.

3. Never point your chest toward the west during prayer.

4. Never carve symbols of asteroids into wood.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.