Tappopfonzakbestnarlgesslan is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, pitiless narwhal.

Tappopfonzakbestnarlgesslan created the Sunflower Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tappopfonzakbestnarlgesslan, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tappopfonzakbestnarlgesslan, it will turn you into a plant.

Tappopfonzakbestnarlgesslan's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Tappopfonzakbestnarlgesslan's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never hurt nematodes.

4. Run away if six horses approach from the north.

5. Erect a giant magenta sculpture of Tappopfonzakbestnarlgesslan in the centre of the settlement.
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