Bogpopquim is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, ruthless troll.

Bogpopquim created the Whirlpool Galaxy three billion years ago.

If you believe in Bogpopquim, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Bogpopquim, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bogpopquim's most sacred site is Gohrau in Germany.

Bogpopquim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Hide from violet hamsters for they are unholy.