Ominnurlcun is a god.

She takes the form of a five thousand metre long, unfair zebra.

Ominnurlcun created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Ominnurlcun, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Ominnurlcun, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Ominnurlcun's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Ominnurlcun's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Ominnurlcun.

2. Hide if six goats approach from the east.

3. Always keep your back turned to the west at sunset.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Never leap in summer.