Ontsadbep is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, weak dolphin.

Ontsadbep created the Large Magellanic Cloud four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ontsadbep, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ontsadbep, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Ontsadbep's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Ontsadbep's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

2. Do not speak of quantum field theory near sacred fires.

3. Never hop near shrews.

4. Do not fashion sacred items from clay.

5. Always obey Ontsadbep's priests.