Botgamcuttaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, prudent octopus.

Botgamcuttaf created dark energy seven million years ago.

If you believe in Botgamcuttaf, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Botgamcuttaf, she will laugh at you.

Botgamcuttaf's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Botgamcuttaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never talk about quantum field theory near hamsters while wearing cyan kilts.

3. Never paint your face pink.

4. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Always make sure there are no shrews in a room before entering it.