Jinwipcebyak is a god.

She takes the form of a slender, awesome hydra.

Jinwipcebyak created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jinwipcebyak, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Jinwipcebyak, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Jinwipcebyak's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Jinwipcebyak's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear tin on your body.

2. Snakes are unholy and should not be approached.

3. Never think about amino acids.

4. Always help manatees.

5. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.