Shavstigdob is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, sage spider.

Shavstigdob created tapeworms six billion years ago.

If you believe in Shavstigdob, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Shavstigdob, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Shavstigdob's most sacred site is Vambupet in India.

Shavstigdob's Holy Commandments

1. Do not step barefoot upon purple earth.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never allow ants to sleep beneath your roof.

4. Never prepare nuts during winter.

5. Heed all signs.