Hogvilshav is a god.

She takes the form of a small, almighty newt.

Hogvilshav created an atom six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogvilshav, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Hogvilshav, she will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hogvilshav's most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Hogvilshav's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry aardvarks.

2. Never whisper while facing north.

3. Hide if nine turtles approach from the west.

4. Do not laugh at mountains.

5. Do not dye your hair cyan.