Bamlegcutsaw is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage crab.

Bamlegcutsaw created viruses five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bamlegcutsaw, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bamlegcutsaw, he will be very unhappy.

Bamlegcutsaw's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Bamlegcutsaw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak sacred words in summer.

2. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Bamlegcutsaw in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not trade with those who eat figs.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Never look at dwarf planets.