Ripnanfot is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, overgenerous grasshopper.

Ripnanfot created the Sun nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripnanfot, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ripnanfot, he will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Ripnanfot's most sacred site is Alyki in Greece.

Ripnanfot's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Ripnanfot.

2. Never write about bacteria.

3. Erect three zinc sculptures of Ripnanfot on top of important buildings.

4. Erect a giant nickel sculpture of Ripnanfot in the centre of the settlement.

5. Never cross crossroads at midday.