Badbarngub is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, happy tortoise.

Badbarngub created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Badbarngub, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Badbarngub, it will hide angry queen hornets in your dwelling place.

Badbarngub's most sacred site is Artena in Italy.

Badbarngub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not keep five sharks in a large pit.

2. Erect a large gold sculpture of Badbarngub on top of all buildings.

3. Badbarngub loves monkeys, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Never feed pineapples to snails while wearing skirts.