Dissquillbom is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, unthinking toad.

Dissquillbom created the Small Magellanic Cloud four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dissquillbom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Dissquillbom, he will turn you into a small brown duck.

Dissquillbom's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Dissquillbom's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

5. Always store bananas above ground.