Tenzantonk is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, fussy hydra.

Tenzantonk created light six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tenzantonk, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Tenzantonk, he will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Tenzantonk's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Tenzantonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never mix limes with blood.

2. Never wear cyan ear rings.

3. Never think about quantum mechanics near gulls while wearing mauve hats and balancing five nickel spheres on your arms.

4. Never gather eight whales in one place.

5. Heed all dreams.