Cunhotappteenhombedjat Bagladquam Dabarmlin is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, blissful elephant.

Cunhotappteenhombedjat Bagladquam Dabarmlin created the Sol system seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cunhotappteenhombedjat Bagladquam Dabarmlin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Cunhotappteenhombedjat Bagladquam Dabarmlin, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Cunhotappteenhombedjat Bagladquam Dabarmlin's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Cunhotappteenhombedjat Bagladquam Dabarmlin's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured pigs.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Dogs are not to be trusted.

4. Run away from mauve gulls, for they are unholy.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.