Kadzenwad is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, confident armadillo.

Kadzenwad created the Large Magellanic Cloud four billion years ago.

If you believe in Kadzenwad, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Kadzenwad, he will turn you into a sparrow.

Kadzenwad's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Kadzenwad's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Put Kadzenwad first in all things.

3. Hide if nine foxes approach from the north.

4. Never wear red scarves.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.