Cenmonkop is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, benevolent aardvark.

Cenmonkop created the universe five million years ago.

If you believe in Cenmonkop, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Cenmonkop, she will laugh at you.

Cenmonkop's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Cenmonkop's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about dark energy near eagles while wearing fawn corsets.

2. Never talk about spacetime.

3. Retreat if three rats approach from the west.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.