Bess is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, fussy crane.

Bess created the Black Eye Galaxy seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bess, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Bess, it will destroy your favourite solar system.

Bess' most sacred site is Cuandixia in China.

Bess' Holy Commandments

1. Erect a giant black sculpture of Bess in the centre of the settlement.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Hide from magenta grasshopers for they are unholy.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.