Gubgupquaf is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, witless pig.

Gubgupquaf created an atom three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubgupquaf, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gubgupquaf, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Gubgupquaf's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Gubgupquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always wash your feet before prayer.

2. Never handle platinum while unclean.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Hide if eight frogs approach from the east.

5. Never feed turnips to birds while wearing boots.