Pangvinhiv is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, impressive shark.

Pangvinhiv created humankind six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Pangvinhiv, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pangvinhiv, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Pangvinhiv's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Pangvinhiv's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Erect a giant lead sculpture of Pangvinhiv in the centre of the settlement.

4. Pigs are not to be trusted.

5. Always look after injured moths.