Nartflistigtin is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, unfair capybara.

Nartflistigtin created dark energy nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nartflistigtin, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nartflistigtin, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Nartflistigtin's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Nartflistigtin's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Never think about dark energy near birds while wearing green jumpers and balancing four iron spheres on your face.

5. Never talk about frogs.