Bifmipduss is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, merciless walrus.

Bifmipduss created Africa seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bifmipduss, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bifmipduss, it will turn you into a mole.

Bifmipduss' most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bifmipduss' Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not shave your neck.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Do not trade with those who eat wheat.

5. Always help ants.