Sitzimtom is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, selfish fish.

Sitzimtom created Africa four billion years ago.

If you believe in Sitzimtom, she will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sitzimtom, she will turn you into a dog.

Sitzimtom's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Sitzimtom's Holy Commandments

1. Never remain prostrate at dawn.

2. Always cleanse ash with water.

3. Always check lakes for frogs.

4. You must never eat peas.

5. Always store oranges above ground.