Gutfobbed is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, generous fish.

Gutfobbed created the solar system nine million years ago.

If you believe in Gutfobbed, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Gutfobbed, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Gutfobbed's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Gutfobbed's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

3. Never mark doors with gray.

4. Never feed bananas to otters while wearing blue shoes.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.