Lamingtafbot is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, temperamental cat.

Lamingtafbot created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamingtafbot, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Lamingtafbot, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lamingtafbot's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Lamingtafbot's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Lamingtafbot in the centre of the settlement.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Draw representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place.