Jadxuclig is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, selfish spider.

Jadxuclig created the Cigar Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Jadxuclig, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Jadxuclig, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Jadxuclig's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Jadxuclig's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of moons on the walls of your dwelling place in pink.

2. Always help sick snails.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not kill foxes.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.