Quatnellquam is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, uncaring cobra.

Quatnellquam created vertebrates six billion years ago.

If you believe in Quatnellquam, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Quatnellquam, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Quatnellquam's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Quatnellquam's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dolphins.

2. Worship no other gods but Quatnellquam.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Quatnellquam.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Do not commit murder.