Bamkenkop is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, ruthless hippopotamus.

Bamkenkop created energy six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamkenkop, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bamkenkop, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Bamkenkop's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Bamkenkop's Holy Commandments

1. Learn eight new languages a year.

2. Feed all hungry great tits.

3. Always wear white.

4. Do not trade with those who eat carrots.

5. Do not hop in public.