Bitdapkab is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, astonishing cow.

Bitdapkab created light two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bitdapkab, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Bitdapkab, she will boil you in a big pot.

Bitdapkab's most sacred site is Bogogobo in Botswana.

Bitdapkab's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed bread to geese while wearing rings.

2. Always count to nine before sleeping.

3. Always treat capybaras with great respect.

4. Never laugh in holy places.

5. Never talk about thermodynamics near otters while wearing purple dresses and balancing five silicon spheres on your hands.