Fum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, uncaring raccoon.

Fum created dark energy six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fum, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fum, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Fum's most sacred site is Meidrim in Wales.

Fum's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Do not trade with those who eat nuts.

3. Never run in holy places.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not take Fum's name in vain.