Zagmumgebkopraptail is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, humorless seal.

Zagmumgebkopraptail created tapeworms five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagmumgebkopraptail, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zagmumgebkopraptail, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Zagmumgebkopraptail's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Zagmumgebkopraptail's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never go into red rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Always look after injured ants.

5. Do not skip in public.